Me, A Rebel? Yes, you!
Imagine a police line up. You’re looking through the one-way glass at a motley crew. A detective growls “which of these is the rebel?”. You see a silver-haired granny, a tattooed musclehead, a teenager with a shaved head, a suit, a nurse.
Life isn’t like The Usual Suspects. Sometimes the rebel is the obvious one. But the storyline those suspects are following is their own. We will only see a tiny scene from their own story. A glimpse of them from the outside. And you don’t get to see their ending, their narrative arc. So how can you tell who is the rebel, just by looking?
Anyone Can
There is probably an image in your head of what a rebel is. What a rebel does. The key thing to remember is that being a rebel and starting a rebellion are different things. It will show you that anyone can be a rebel, or start a rebellion.
Rebel = passion and Kindly = compassion. Together, Rebel Kindly is about doing something agains expectations or conventions to make our world better. Life is all about change. Rebel Kindly helps you adapt to it, take it on and thrive. Anyone can do it.
Why You Can’t Be a Rebel
Let’s dig into some myths about rebels and rebelling. These are some of reasons why you might not think you can be a rebel.
A. Real Rebels are Fearless
You’ve heard the quote about “true courage is being scared and doing it anyway”. I don’t think rebels are fearless. I’m not sure anyone is. Maybe the rebel who drops out of school is scared about never fitting in. The gal on the motorbike could be fearful about missing out on real life, excitement, exhilaration. Perhaps that guy standing in front of a bulldozer is scared that their little brother won’t have a safe clean world to grow old in.
B. Real Rebels are Bad
Everyone does bad things sometimes. That doesn’t mean they are bad. My definition of being a RebelKindly is that you want to change things for the better. That won’t always mean that it is better for everyone. But rebellion should be done with a positive intent and for a reason. Many times my reason would be “no one tells me what to do” which is a terrible reason. A good reason is to make the world better, increase happiness, or just to live a fuller life of your own.
C. Real Rebels are Non-Stop
Being a Rebel is a facet of who we all are. Even a hard-core, got the t-shirt one doesn’t do it all the time. Yes, they are passionate and tenacious and constantly on the go but nobody can rebel all the time. Think about it – to rebel is to go against expectations. It doesn’t seem possible to constantly go against expectations, without undoing whatever your last Kindly rebellion was.
First, by rebelling you have changed those expectations or conventions and so you don’t need to rebel against them. On a deep and meaningful level, you’ve achieved what you were trying to do, made the world better. So if you rebelled against those new expectations you’d get sucked into a vortex where it would all cancel itself out. That’s why I believe we need to rebel with the end in mind.
Secondly, it would be exhausting. Even the most extroverted, passionate rebel would get tired. Rebelling isn’t easy. It’s good, it’s necessary, it’s exciting, it’s fun. It’s not easy. There will be difficulties, anxiety, awkwardness, vulnerability and regrets. Which nowadays we would all call learning!
Rebel Incognito
Can you spot a Rebel from the outside? Most of the time you can’t. Rebels have many attributes. How do you spot one:
- What they wear, drive, listen to. Nope, that won’t help. They could be wearing chinos and listening to 80s rock anthems and still be a rebel. That motorbike rider is probably a corporate accountant. You can’t always tell from the outside.
- How about on the inside? Maybe the chatty ones are the rebels? Maybe the formal and polite ones are the conventional types, definitely not the Rebels? A stay-at-home parent can be a huge one, while a digital nomad may be too scared to.
- There are some less obvious beliefs about traits or skills that people have that make them better Rebels. Someone who is organised is better than someone less structured. Millennials rather than baby boomers. Highly emotional rather than highly logical folk. Leaders rather than admin colleagues. Explorers rather than homebodies. Children rather than parents. Extroverts rather than introverts. These are just more subtle stereotypes than what people wear. But still stereotypes, and not a reliable way to spot rebels.
Rebels are tall and small, loud and quiet, rich and poor, leaders and followers, in trainers and handmade shoes, friendly and formal. They are anyone and everyone.
You Can Be a Rebel
I think everyone, yes everyone, has the right skills to be a rebel, to do some rebelling. That’s what RebelKindly is all about. Helping you to grow your skills to Rebel and to be Kindly. It’s not about hiding or compensating for your weaknesses or waiting until you are completely ready. You can start incognito. Only be visible when and if you choose to, if it helps make the world better.
Strengths: It doesn’t matter where your strengths lie. You could be friendly or organised or passionate or logical or persistent. The key is that we all have strengths. Find out yours. Then work with them to get started.
Learn: Watch others and see what you could try. Choose to feel different, happier. Practice the skills you want to learn – it’s about trying something and getting a little better at it, it’s about getting clearer on what your unique strengths are. You may find that the learned skills become new strengths along with the innate ones.
Do: Choose to be a Kindly Rebel, to start a rebellion. Think about what you want to change, how to do it with compassion and then give it a go.
Go Forth and Rebel Kindly
So what’s your challenge? Do you need to work your rebel muscles, get them stronger, build your stamina? Or lay off the strength training and get some flexibility? Or maybe work on your Kindly Cardio, get that heart in good shape ready for kindness. Change is all around, see how you can adapt and thrive.
(And the answer the detective was waiting for? The silver-haired granny of course!)