De Duh Duh De Dum…
The Week 3 Blues – sounds like a song doesn’t it? I was talking to my coach this week and she mentioned this phrase when we talked about change curves. Sometimes it helps when a phrase just captures a whole bunch of worries and emotions and behaviour!
It really captures what my little one is going through this week at school. And me.
Change Curve Blind Spots
So this is embarrassing. I’m a change practitioner, a change coach, a change navigator. Spend my days thinking about thriving with change and helping others to. And there I am, so caught up in my concern for my little one that I forgot all about the change curve! My son is on it, we’re on it as parents, his class and teachers are all on it.
Here’s my Week 3 Blues change curve (explanatory notes below!):
So all of this will happen and it is all normal
- New stuff = anticipation, excitement
- New stuff is old = denial that things are changing
- Oh this is hard, I have to do well = fear, bargaining
- Sigh, this is it now, I’m stuck = sadness, confusion
- This is it. Well, ok = acceptance
- This isn’t so bad = learning, problem solving.
And it won’t happen in this order. It’s more like jazz than a music score that’s followed exactly. You could be playing all these notes at once, or one long note for days.
Whose Playing these Blues?
Who might have The Week 3 Blues right now? Are you one of these?
- Students – at school or at college. Think of all the new things – new clothes, new friends, new places to sit, new clubs to go to, new teachers. Maybe new expectations – they walk by themselves now, they have to get themselves out of bed, there’s lots more work to prepare for big exams, more sitting and less playing.
- Worker bees – new jobs are full of excitement. New colleagues, new commute, new building, crisp new shirt. New opportunities and high expectations of how you will impress everyone.
- Parents – clean crisp uniforms, new places and schedules, new adults to get to know, new routines, more independence for you and your children.
We’re All Forgetting
So why did I forget all about the rollercoaster of the change curve? All the classic reasons. I was uncertain about how we could help, and with no control over how the school runs things so was in “threat” mode and thinking less clearly. And I was looking backwards to how starting school last year went so well and the staff were wonderful. Focussed on the endings rather than the beginnings. I just wasn’t ready to learn or see how things could be better.
Now I’m more aware of what’s happening in my head and heart. I’m slowly climbing back up that curve. Three steps up, two slips back! And I’m starting to see what new beginnings may be there, exciting new things.
How to Thrive
Here’s 3 ways to start to thrive, even in the midst of the Week 3 Blues:
- Be kindly – all of us need time to rest and adjust, so allow time for you and anyone else who is on the change curve rollercoaster.
- Be a rebel – you may feel you have to hide your emotions or maybe get your children to hide theirs. But allowing people for feel what they feel and helping them be ok and get through it usually helps more than pushing things down and hiding behind a smile. You know all the emotions are going to come and just knowing that will help too.
- Try a tiny thing to make things better. Speak to someone new, help someone who looks lost, name one thing you are glad about today. Focussing on others helps you feel better.
Don’t be afraid to sing the Week 3 Blues ???
- Everyone has them, even if they don’t notice
- Keep playing even if you get some notes wrong
- Listen out for other people’s blues
